Classic Andy & future frontrunner for me to read and/or roll the video tape when the time comes...

Andy Botwin: [to Shane about masturbation] Alright, listen closely. I'm not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me. Problem now is... every time we jerk the gerkin, we get a lot of unwanted sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So... First order of business - no more socks. They're expensive, gumming up the works plumming-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. Sock?" Glad you asked... You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning - that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But, the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5 showers every day, we're gonna need some other options. So let's start with the basics. Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that Creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin and it can stick to your dick head like a fuckin' band-aid - ouch. From there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers - specificially, bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube... is lube. So save your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on - when you tug your Thomas on the toilet - ffft - shoot right into the bowl. In bed - soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don't mind tossing after tossing. There's no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your control now, while you're a solo artist - you'll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Ok - class dismissed.

[Shane gets up to walk away]

Andy Botwin: Hey!

[tosses Shane a banana]

Andy Botwin: Homework.

  

  

We are JUICED! about this new & exciting partnership with Juice Apparel.


  

Die Fischer haben es am Feuer erzählt,
da gibts ein Land in dem die Liebe regiert.
Komm mit mir, nach Papaya.
Dort wo am Horizont die Sterne uns scheinen,
Möchte ich mit dir für immer allein sein.
Folge mir, nach Papaya.

Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana

Unser Schiff kämpft sich durch Wind und Wogen,
Und Schon jetzt fühlen wir uns wie neugeboren,
Denn wir fahren, nach Papaya
Ich halt die Sehnsucht nicht mehr länger aus,
He Kaptain, volle Kraft voraus,
Bald sind wir in Papaya

Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana

Vor vielen hundert Jahren, geriet ein kleines Waisenmädchen
nach Papaya. Sie hatte nur einen - uuu-aaa - Freund, einen kleinen Vogel
der nicht von ihrer Seite wich. Da begegnete ihr ein alter
blinder Mann. Er sagte zu ihr: "Du wirst die Königin dieser
Insel sein und dafür sorgen, dass alle Menschen ob alt ob jung,
ob arm ob reich glücklich miteinander leben."
und so geschah es. Und sie benannte ihr Königreich nach ihrem
eigenen Namen: Papaya

Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana
Papaya Papaya Coconut Banana

  

Via Noupe.com...


  

Link & blockquote via Eclectic Micks...

Eclectic Micks are a collection of Irish professional comic book artists. They include Stephen Mooney (Angel; After the Fall), Stephen Thompson (Star Trek; New Frontier, Presidential Material: John McCain), PJ Holden (Fearless, 2000AD) Nick Roche (Transformers, Doctor Who), Will Sliney (Farscape), Bob Byrne (Mr. Amperduke, 2000AD) and Declan Shalvey (Frankenstein, Hero Killers)

  

  

  

Circa 1929 (Revere Beach, MA). Link & blockquote via thrillarena.com's Lions & Ladies (See also Honey Badger: The Most Fearless Animal on Earth & Honey Badgers, Ladies, & Motor Drome Riding...

My name is Sam. I ride a 1931 101 Indian Scout motocycle on the side of a 90 degrees (straight up & down) wooden barrel board wall. It is the sport of motor drome riding, more commonly known as the "Thrillarena" or "Wall of Death". I have been a drome rider for most of my life and have had the priviledge of riding 11 different dromes...2 of which were in Europe - 1 for the Varanne Family (from France) on a German Drome (Pitt’s Todeswand), and the other their Drome in France! Presently I ride for Jay Lightnin’& the American Motor Drome. Herein you will experience the rich history of motor drome riding, told both in pictures and stories. Included are walls, riders and sites from around the world! This site is dedicated to the memory of my mentor and savior, Sonny Pelaquin, who took me off the street, taught me to ride and to laugh... and gave me my wonderful life- high on the wall! (“There can never be too many motor dromes!” - Sonny Pelaquin)

  

You'll never have to whisper "did I miss anything?" again. Stadiums have caught on to the never miss a moment movement, so why not extend this courtesy to movie goers? Channels can switch between movies currently playing and sound is at fixed level so every set can be heard at proximity. How about it?



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